March 27, 2011

• I spent an amazing 40 hours in LA. It was time that, no matter which direction this ends up going, I will always cherish. We’ve known each other 6 years, but this time together was a different kind of getting to know each other. 40 hours straight, just him and me. We just hung out, laughed, played, joked, learned more about each other and just had fun. I could see him relax and the stress ease off as the time went on. I got to overhear him skype with the boys, which just melted my heart. He really loves and cherishes them, hes an amazing father. I guess I should explain that the kids and their mom are on the east coast so, I stayed with him for two nights. Yes, I stayed at their apartment. I don’t regret it, not even sleeping in their bed with him each night. It was awkward for me at first but he worked to make me very comfortable. I saw why he is so miserable. At one point he said “I really hate coming home”. Broke my heart to hear the way he said it, I feel bad for him, the whole situation sucks. I just want to make it all better. I can’t say if the trip was a good thing or a bad thing for us. There is definitely a stronger connection and there is a difference in the way he texts me. Now he says stuff like “I work tomorrow for nascar but I will text you from the track”. It is good that we make each other happy. It is good that we get along so well and have a lot in common. I also say the same things are bad. Bad because they could cause a strong attachment to me(or each other) that will end up causing issues. I will continue to just let this run it’s course, with him calling all the shots because I just don’t know what to do. I think I might be deeply in love. Scares me to admit that.

  • 4:02 AM
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