"You are funny, sexy, smart and fun"

Just one of many compliments I received tonight.

"I hate going out but I have to, at least that means I can text with you more"

He makes me feel sexier, more attractive, than my ex ever did. Maybe he is just more appreciative because his situation, maybe I just fit his type. I don't know. I know that from the beginning I have never been uncomfortable around him or showing him this body I hate. He make me smile, and laugh, and happy. Things just feel too right. After our conversation tonight I wonder if I should end things. He was a bit buzzed and we all know what alcohol does, makes a person honest. He was too enthusiastic about me, using words like perfect, saying things like this is what I want in a woman and describing me. We texted and emailed all day and he asked more than once when I could come back, working out schedules...this is getting more and more complicated and headed in a direction that is dangerous for the both of us, at a much faster pace than anticipated. I know I should end it, but how many times since this started have I said "I should" and never followed through with my own good advice?

I should find something better to blog about. Even if it is just work lol. I'll get right on that. =D

I've always liked this song, but now, it just feels like a look into my future. A little scary, I will do everything in my power to keep it from being like this.

I've been sitting here staring at the clock on the wall
And I've been laying here praying, praying she won't call
It's just another call from home
And you'll get it and be gone
And I'll be crying

And I'll be begging you, baby
Beg you not to leave
But I'll be left here waiting
With my Heart on my sleeve
Oh, for the next time we'll be here
Seems like a million years
And I think I'm dying

What do I have to do to make you see
She can't love you like me?

Why don't you stay
I'm down on my knees
I'm so tired of being lonely
Don't I give you what you need
When she calls you to go
There is one thing you should know
We don't have to live this way
Baby, why don't you stay

You keep telling me, baby
There will come a time
When you will leave her arms
And forever be in mine
But I don't think that's the truth
And I don't like being used and I'm tired of waiting
It's too much pain to have to bear
To love a man you have to share

Why don't you stay
I'm down on my knees
I'm so tired of being lonely
Don't I give you what you need
When she calls you to go
There is one thing you should know
We don't have to live this way
Baby, why don't you stay

I can't take it any longer
But my will is getting stronger
And I think I know just what I have to do
I can't waste another minute
After all that I've put in it
I've given you my best
Why does she get the best of you
So next time you find you wanna leave her bed for mine

Why don't you stay
I'm up off my knees
I'm so tired of being lonely
You can't give me what I need
When she begs you not to go
There is one thing you should know
I don't have to live this way
Baby, why don't you stay, yeah

Stay - Sugarland

I've only been gone 4 days and he is already asking when am coming back. Yes, mixed signals. Ugh.

In other news karma has caught up with me. I have a terrible flu, a two day fever, horrible body aches and to top it off ive been having painful cramps in my right ovary similar to the ones I had before my surgery. I need to make a drs apt for that one!