I mostly posted this for myself, to go over it again, to have it all in one place and such. If you don't want to read feel free to leave now, =) I won't be offended. I sent an email with a 3 questions about what he owes me this month and some paperwork. He replied adding that he didn't think he should pay the full amount of what he "owes" me, trying to deduct the price of movies and games among other things that I took with me. Here is a cut up version of the convo after that...please, excuse my language. Sometimes I suffer from truckers mouth. Red is me, blue is him.
I don't think the BD's and Games have any weight here, those could have easily been bought with the money I made while working at any of my jobs. Yes they were probably purchased mostly in the last few years, and we could debate about this forever, but you cannot say that they all came out of the money made in 2009.
You are forgetting that we had a partnership and you're being awfully petty for someone whose life was not completely upended. I thought everything was completely fair and done with when I left. You know how easy I made all of this on you?? Are you even aware that you were pretty damn lucky with the whole damn situation? Go back to listening to FHF or Tom Leykis(*) if you need a reminder. I could have been a major bitch, I could have fucked you over. I did everything I could possibly do so that did not happen, like I always said I would. I kept my promises.
If you only want to pay me $3000 for (business stuff) then fuck it, I don't give a shit, take 4k off your tab. Karma can bite you in the ass, not me.
* - Two talk radio shows we used to listen to all the time, Leykis talked often about women who screwed over men. Some stories were just terrible!!
This response was really long and really mean, it was the start of today's tears. I cut out alot, all the movie price comparisons and stuff that wouldn't make sense...money amounts are hidden.
As for "most" of them, look at how many DS games you have. Half the Xbox 360 games are gone . Only thing you didn't jump on too many were the HD-DVDs. The Wii (plus over half the games) and the other Xbox 360 you took with you as well. Plus those headphones and VGA cable.
But what did I do for you? I let you move in on a whim. I let you fuse the bank accounts together (thus making it very hard to separate the numbers now). Remember that $**** I got from Jax? You spent almost half of it fixing your car... my transmission replacement was $****. Not even close to $****. And that $**** was MINE. Not yours. I did 100% of all that work w/o any help. I let you essentially live rent-free (as no agreement was in place). In conclusion, any "favors" done for the other are pretty much null. Unless you have any other valid reason why they aren't.
Yes, you could be a total bitch. I know full well what you're capable of and as long as you come after me and me alone, we won't have problems, even if you turn into a complete bitch. Just know if you take that route, you too know what I am capable of. Best option would be to put the guns down. I'll put mine down if you do the same... keep this as neutral as possible. (*)
* - WTF?? Where did all the come from? What am I capable of?? I'm not crazy and I hate drama!!! Were my "guns" even up?? Someone went a little nuts there.
I did not say I was going to be a bitch or try to start shit. I'm not like that and I don't like or want drama. I want this over with but I don't want this done with petty and pointless fighting.
I'm sorry, I thought you moved me in because you wanted me there, if not that reason, well I guess all I can say is I am sorry and you shouldn't have done it for any other reason. I am sorry I was such a burden on your life. I am trying not to forget that we had some really good times and that at one point we were best friends. I hope you can remember that stuff too.
With the games, I only took what you said I could have, ones you said you didn't want or wouldn't play. Please don't blame 100% of that on me, if you said yes to giving me stuff out of "guilt" well that is your fault, not mine.
Yes you did more for me, and yes, you have a lot that you can throw in my face. Thank you for confirming my thoughts of having been worthless in the relationship. Yes, you saved my life, you helped with my emotional issues (that I warned you about before we ever got together) but you added to some of those too. I will live the rest of my life feeling like I failed the relationship because I was broken, damaged goods and that I wasn't good enough for you. I am sorry I never went to get "help" because I did not want to add expenses to our lives. I struggle daily with feelings of inadequacy, more so than I ever did. You have no idea what life has been like for me recently. Please don't make it worse by stabbing me in the heart, if you didn't want to live with me, if you didn't want to merge the accounts or open a business with me, all you had to do was say something. For years you led me to believe we were doing all these things because we were building a life together and that you wanted to marry me. How many times did I say I don't care what it's about, just tell me the truth. You never did.
I am sorry that I got upset about the money. It was mostly out of fear. Right now I cannot afford to pay my bills or buy my food. I finally learned what food additives cause my migraines and the food organic food I need are not cheap. If my mom buys them then my dad feels like they are his, he eats them all and I am left with nothing. Yes I am actively looking for a job still, it's just not going so well. I wasn't going to demand you pay the full 7k or whatever if you didn't feel it was right, I thought by bringing up a few other things you would just negotiate a different amount with me. You might be surprised but I am a reasonable person despite hating you, out of hurt. I gave you an itemized list of what was "owed" when I left with my stuff, if you don't have that anymore I can find the papers we signed and work a list based off that total. If you have the list then just change the (business stuff) amount to the $3k or whatever and let me know. I just don't want to fight over it, it's pointless.
That got to him, he was barking a different tune in the next email.
Look, I didn't mean to slam you, I was sort of losing my cool a bit. You're a great person. You really are. I did what I did because it was the best choice - for me. Despite how you feel now, someday you will thank me. You can hate me, call me any and every name in the book, but it won't change anything. You are not worthless or inadequate in any way, despite how your dad (or I) may make you feel. You didn't fail at anything, not as a girlfriend or the relationship. I'm sorry I led you on (in a sense) but its much easier to settle than it is to start over. Don't live in what was or could've been cause you will stay in that hell. Don't carry this weight on your shoulders, its not worth it. In all seriousness, go out this Friday (*) and have some fun. Don't think about anything, just go have some fun. And then next week, rinse and repeat. There is someone out there for you. You just need to find him.
* - My b-day
I understand you made the choice that was best for you. I don't blame you for that, I just wish you would have made it sooner. I have gotten over the what could have been's and I am just starting to work on the moments when my heart starts to hurt and I am hit with this terrible sense of loss. You had longer to work on this, and you lost it by choice.
I just hate that sometimes I miss you and the life we had together. That is why I hate you, hating is easier than missing. I hate it here and I miss la so much. I can let go of the past, it's just gonna take some more time. I hate that you moved into another relationship so quickly with no regards to how deeply it would hurt me. I feel like if you hadn't given up a long time ago, I, we could have been exactly what you wanted. You just didn't see that I had changed and wasn't done changing. You stopped trying too soon.
As far as unanswered questions, I think you know them all, we've talked about them before. Why, isn't that usually what everybody wants to know? Why? What was so wrong with me that you could not love me. What could I not offer to you that you needed. I feel like because I am damaged goods I am unlovable. I feel like the fact that I am lost in life is a big strike against me, a strike that she doesn't have.
I know there is someone out there for me, I am ready to date again, I just want to be a little more comfortable in my skin before I put myself out there.
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