January 26, 2011
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Stupidity at it's best.
Oh god I am so stupid. So very very stupid.
Headed to La again this weekend. A trip a week? Not safe for my heart. He treated me so well, candles, bubble bath, friendship, respect, understanding, comfort.
Starting an affair with someone you were half in love with then being treated wonderfully? Not smart. I've lost control of my emotions. First time for everything I guess. I fell.
Yeah, I think I love him. He makes me so happy, I came home from La in the best of moods last week. I felt amazing, I haven't felt this good or happy in years.
I told my girlfriends that the hurt I know will come later will be worth it because of how incredibly happy I am now. Still I will do my best to keep from being hurt too badly.
The hard part? I want him to love me. I don't want him to leave her, but I think I just want him to feel something more than what we've been feeling. Maybe I just need to be loved? Maybe him loving me will make me feel special? Like I am good enough. All I know is I would love to look back and say yeah he loved me.
Stupid stupid stupid, naive, stupid girl. I know better, really I do.
Comments (2)
funny...how the song by pink (stupid girl) came to my mind when reading this. lol
have a good time. please be careful and be safe. the higher one flies, the harder one falls.
Good Morning, I have wondered if a guy especially like me can love two women at the same time--Logic says it is possible. Some cultures allow more than one wife. Funny, no culture seems to allow women to have multiple husbands. I think some European countries have the practice of the formal marriage to carry the family name via children and the husband has a mistress who he enjoys personally.
I hope he loves you the way you desire. I know it is a very emotional thing for you and hope you will be happy. I know you understand the risk, and like your friend, hope you are not disappointed.
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